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Father

My father died last year(March 16, 1996) by tha pulmonary cancer. he was 80 years old.

Father's youth was the days of the war. He has gone through the flames of war for about 10 years with North China, the South China Sea, the Pacific Ocean.

His class was the third from the bottom.

Father often did the story of the foreign country that he went to for the war.

But, he hardly told the tragic story of the war.

Only the tragic story that I heard of from father was

that he had ever cut a Chinese neck.

I don't know whether the story is true or it is only the story of the fiction.

But, it seems to be certain that he was there.

He always said it at the end of the story that that couldn't be rejected, and the command was absolute.

I can't know father's mind at the time when he say so.

But, I said it father every time I heard this father's story that

Daddy,,, you should pay back the debt, too, shouldn't you?...

Father liked a cigarette. and he had always smoked it coughing.

Therefore, father became a pulmonary cancer though that cause may not depend on it.

After being passed the sentence on father, he did the second hospitalization last March in the first year.

After a while, his condition became bad suddenly.

As his throat often was choked with the phlegm, at his throat, a little hole is made, and a pipe put in his throat from the hole. And the phlegm was drawn out with the machine from there.

When his throat was choked with the phlegm, he coughed with pain,

and I sucked up the phlegm from the pipe by the machine.

Daddy, let's pay back the debt together...

Father who said that he had ever cut a Chinese neck at the time of last war...

Now, father who has a hole made in his throat and is suffering his pain on the bed of the hospital...

At first, by pain, let's pay back the debt...

Then, let's have a real good apology,,,

and, let's do a real good things very much!

Let's help ten people if you killed one person.
Let's help one hundred people if you killed ten people.

Let's pay back the debt soon when you are born in the next world !

After that, the number of times of his cough fell off gradually, and for about one week before he died, his cough had been stopping without pain.

His coma condition lasted, and his breath became shallow gradually.

When I wanted to make father heard a radio, and the moment my eyes were taken off a little from him,

He died quietly.

Death was sublimities.

Daddy, let's pay back the debt together...

(1997.2.16)

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